Inside Out

Just a quickie today if I may Madam...........

You know how last week I was talking about how staggering acts of stupidity are magnified by disability? It's all to do with the perception of the Idiot Nation. I'm only an idiot occasionally. When my lips move, usually. But whenever I am, I can't help but feel that it leaves an indelible mark for some. A mark that just reads.......'spasmo'.

Anyway, I came up with another cracking example today. In mitigation I was very tired when I awoke this morning. The Bank Holiday weekend had trained my body to think that getting up before 7.00 was inhumane. I very nearly had to be scraped off the bed this morning.

So bearing this in mind, consider this. I put my jumper on inside out. Not only that, but I did not realise that I had done so until nearly two hours later. I happened to be sitting moodily at my desk (as is my default position) when I noticed. At that point I remembered that one or two of my colleagues had smirked at me through the first hour of the day. I have to say I wondered what they had to be smug about. It was Tuesday morning.

I left my desk as casually as is possible in these mortifying circumstances, landed sharply in the disabled toilets and amended the offending garment. I rolled back in just as casually, convinced that I noticed one or two more smirks as I did. Yet nobody said a word about it. Perhaps they felt sorry for the Office Retard. Perhaps they just couldn't believe I had done it. You know how fashion is these days? Clearly I don't.